Friday, April 26, 2013

The Eyelashes Effect - a post for girls on how we may often see guys

The eyelashes effect is something I took note of while I was in Italy. I was looking at my Italian sister’s eyelashes and they were just so long and curled. It is a commonly desirable feature to have long eyelashes, especially in Asia where even if your eyelashes are long, they are flat. While I looked at her eyelashes, all I thought was “I wish my eyelashes did that! If I look at it more, will it become that way more? If I had eyelashes like that everyone would think I’ve got the most gorgeous eyes ever.” At some point in my thinking, I realized that if everyone thought the way I did, what would be the point of beautiful eyelashes? That everyone can wish they had them? The point of beautiful eyelashes is to be appreciated for the beauty they are, not to wish you had them if you didn’t or to be proud you have them if you do. Those are two completely distinct states of mind – appreciation for beauty and longing for acquisition. If you’re thoughts are occupied with one of these, the other is not present. While you are appreciating beauty, you will not be wishing it for yourself. Wishing it for yourself is a statement of lack and that you do not have it, thus will give you, by the Law of Creation, more lack of it (essentially, creating the circumstances that affirm you do not have it).

However, aside from that, the eyelashes effect can be analogous to the way many of us women look at men (myself included at times when I’m not aware). We look at men and imagine them as our boyfriend or husband or boy toy, and how nice that would be.

If you want a reason for why we do this and why we think this way, my best response would be (not to sound strange) capitalism. It is all the marketing and companies that knows we do not monitor what we are thinking. They convince us we would love to have something, and that if we had it, everyone would admire and love us! They capitalize on our lack of thinking and as we buy their products, we reinforce the position in our minds.

This is not an argument against capitalists and companies (you are responsible for your own thinking!) but rather pointing out to an area that is blocking beauty from coming into our lives. Being “whipped” by a guy is unpleasant for you for obvious reasons (no one likes to think she is toyed by a guy!), and on top of that it also means that you are not appreciating a guy. Girls complain that guys only love girls for their bodies, but girls do the exact same thing with a guy – usually not for their bodies as much as if he were hers he’d be the perfect accessory and all other girls would be jealous. It is also logical to say that if you are “whipped” by a guy, you are being selfish and only thinking about yourself! It’s a strange concept as you are thinking about another person, but only in the perspective that there is a possibility of benefitting yourself.

Whenever I find myself judging at someone or something that way, I remind myself of the eyelashes effect, and that if I’m one less person to appreciate eyelashes, that’s one less person appreciating beauty.