Sunday, March 3, 2013

Deep Fears

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
I wanted to look at this quote a bit because it's a really strange concept - or more accurately perhaps, an unfamiliar one. I haven't been doing quite as well emotionally recently although perhaps "materially" it's been better than it's ever been before.

This quote reminds me of a quote Dr. Robert Anthony wrote:
A lesson that has taken us far too long to learn is that the opposite of bravery is not cowardliness, but rather, conformity.
I know personally I've been scared to "be myself" because of what others may think or say about me, and for good reason if I am affected by it. If we are really, as Marianne Williamson describes, "powerful beyond measure," surely we would be rejected by more people than accepted. Beyond being brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous, it is really about being ourselves which is brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous, and that's where the confusion comes in, that's where we start to question well what's up with that? I didn't do anything to merit it.

When we really take a good look and observe, it's all around us. To claim who we really are is not a big deal, but with years on years of conditioning we automatically turn right when maybe we're supposed to turn left to get when we want to go.

I think it's time for a few things to be established (for me at least)
1. The things most people say most of the time are just BS (ie. ungrounded or for ulterior motive)
2. It takes thought and awareness to not get dragged into it
3. There is a way to live in this world but not of it

I've been having trouble since I came back to school because suddenly everything in my limited thinking became "I must" or "I should" or "I have to"
The more I dwell on these things the more I feel an obligation and the more it gets crappy.
I'm not here to sell ideas [anymore] or be proof of burden or whatever the terms are. I desire to give and I have no clue who ends up on my blog or anything of that sort but I know that there are people out there who do have similar feelings or situations and I know that there are ways out and I know it will come with a matter of time, for everyone. I've been cowardly recently. In actuality it is just taking the limiting beliefs for real. It's not exactly a matter of being brave just what to pick to represent what is real. I struggle still with knowing that I can live in this world without being of it because no one around me that I'm close to or I know really well does, but it's time I stopped using examples.
I had a problem set for philosophy class and I couldn't really do it because I had no example to follow. Previously, I could only do them because I could follow step-by-step what was to be found. Yet the last one had no example and I found myself clueless. I felt I had no way of doing it. I went to my professor's office hours and he showed me how to do it (my main task of the day..complete my problem set :)), but he tried teaching me (I don't know how successfully) not by teaching me how to do it but how to think about it. I think it's time I clarified things more and allowed this to come through me.